THE BODY THAT LOVES YOU

The Banning of my New Book, 'Humanifestations'

Dear Reader:

In recent months, I came through a startlingly unexpected and difficult reaction to seemingly innocuous prescriptions. It was something that will take a long time to make sense of and process. 40+ pounds lighter, I am just glad that I am still here. And I may well write a book about it: "Conversations with the Underworld”, or some such thing. It was horrifying, but it was also profound and revelatory. I learned so much about the nature of life, the value of life, the fragility and ferocity of life. We are living marvels, every one of us. And we have been led astray with respect to our inherent value and worth.

At the heart of my realizations (real-eyes-ations 😊) was an in-close look at my own psyche and, to some extent, our collective psyche. Beginning with a symbolic ‘visit’ from the archetypal Death Mother, many levels of insight revealed themselves in the heart of what I now refer to as a “colorful coma”—my own unresolved memories, the utter importance of making amends, the remarkable nature of the (protective) mind, the relationship between emotional release and self-liberation, the precious nature of human life—but perhaps the most profound was the tragedy of the human self-concept. For a variety of reasons—personal experiences, ancestral conditioning, systemic manipulation, religious and spiritual teachings that shame the human story—it was entirely evident that deep within the unconscious lay a whole host of self-deprecating messages and beliefs that obscured the greatness that lay within. Most everywhere I looked I saw a river of senseless shame, where there ought to be a Mountain of Healthy Self-regard. And I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of magnificent, co-creative world we would be living in, if we could become that Mountain.

In order to keep going, I began to look for evidence of my own inherent value. I couldn’t find it in my mind. It just kept taking me deeper into its labyrinth of shame. So many treacherous tunnels that misrepresented the whole of me. But then, a little at a time, I began to remember my body. My mind resisted, determined to keep me gripped to its version of reality, but my body began to ask for my attention. And there it was, continuing to breathe me, continuing to rescue me, continuing to excavate (and invite the release of) the emotional holdings that were feeding the mind’s narrative. There it was, validating my worth and my mission. There it was, loving me in a million different ways, ensuring that I would live another day. I spent days watching it, feeling into it, grateful for and awestruck by its determination to keep me here. And I wondered why I hadn’t ever REALLY noticed.

(One clear learning from this experience: Do NOT. I repeat. Do NOT wait until your death moment to attend to the unresolved memories and wounds that you carry. I recognize how deliberately distracted we are by the powers-that-bleed-us-dry, but do all you can to create space to do a deep dive into your inner world to heal your emotional holdings. This includes the memory of those things that have been done to you, and also those things you have done to others. I assure you—it will all arise in those final moments. Work it through now. And clear the stockpile regularly, as life will surely bring more material your way. People often talk about presence and “being in the now”. These words don’t mean a thing, if we are still blocked up with old stuff that longs to be addressed. When we clear it, we validate our intrinsic worth and we give the stockpiling library that is the mind a new book for its shelves.)

Our world is on fire with reactivity and hopelessness. It always has been, but it is becoming even more evident now. If you are struggling with hopelessness and/or self-hatred, please do all that you can to pay attention to that which is validating your worth. I know that it’s easier said than done, but if you can connect to the body that loves you—breathe in, ‘I am loved’, breathe out, ‘I am loved’—and that is devoted in every moment to keeping you here, you will find a persistent reminder that you matter and that you are here for a reason. It needn’t be some grandiose purpose. It may be as simple and as profound as realizing the miracle that is you. As I found out, that alone is a pioneering act in a shamed world. And if you don’t believe me, just get attuned to the body that breathes you. Feel it, as the breath fills your inner world with life. Feel it, as it confirms your value and worth. No matter what negative messages you have internalized, you are loved in every moment by the body that is you.

I am still low on energy, but I’m getting a little stronger every week. This week, I was able to read a quote from Hearticulations that speaks to our inherent value. Please watch it if you get a moment. Take in the self-love that has been with you from the beginning…

THE “BANNING” OF MY BOOK, HUMANIFESTATIONS

My newest book, ‘Humanifestations: On Trauma, Truth, and Transformation’, is a kind of sister book to my popular quotes book ‘Hearticulations: On Love, Friendship, and Healing’. I love them both equally and believe they are both worthwhile offerings. Unfortunately, Humanifestations has been essentially banned, or perhaps better worded ‘hobbled’, by Amazon in various locations. On US Amazon, I had a series of challenges getting a proper buy-box established, the book was and is not coming up properly on searches, and my bio was being misdirected to a different Jeff Brown (which confuses and dissuades purchasers). On Amazon Canada, it is far worse. The book name was also not coming up in searches, ordered books shipped to Amazon were returned to us with no justification (we distribute the book in Canada under Enrealment Press), Amazon stopped ordering the book altogether from us (and it was removed from our list, despite their claims that is ON our list), and the lowest price book (see image below) shows up today as available from a secondary vendor for $68.28 (a price that is obviously unaffordable for most consumers).

On Amazon UK, both Humanifestations and Hearticulations have only been available to those in a small pocket of England, and those in other countries (including Ireland) and continents could not order them at all. And today, Humanifestions does not come up in the search engine, and the Hearticulations paperback is not available at all through Amazon UK (“No featured offers available.”). None of the above is the usual practice, and prevents the book(s) from building steam in the marketplace. I believe this is entirely deliberate.

As for why I think this is happening, it is my belief—grounded in lived experience—that some of the quotes I included in Humanifestations have offended certain powers-that-be and they have gone to the trouble of making efforts to contain its reach and the reach of its sister book. There have been other problems with Enrealment Press— both bank and email related (i.e. receiving one fake email after another every few minutes since mid-July, on the website emails). I won’t say anything more at this time, but I do long to get this book to those people who would benefit from it. That is why I wrote it. With that in mind, we are making both Humanifestations and Hearticulations available (with free worldwide shipping) for $19.95 US from the Enrealment website. All copies are personally signed by me (just in case you like signed books) and we ship them within a day. If you feel inspired to support our efforts (and to give a big fuck-you to censorship), here are the links to order:

Link to Humanifestations

Link to Hearticulations

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As this intense year comes to a close, I am continuing to focus on creation and humanifestation.

There are no simple answers for the complicated challenges we face, but I have great faith in our capacity to heal and transform. I know this from my own lived experience, and I see this everywhere I look.

In the heart of all that madness, there is much positive change afoot. It is taking root on many different levels, bridging us to each other as co-creators of a more heartfelt and trauma-sensitive world.

The archaic consciousness that has ruled us, is slowly fading into oblivion. And it knows it. This is no time for us to bury our faith in the sand. This is the time for us to ground our faith in sacred action, planting the seeds for the more inclusive world that will follow.

Whatever your calling is, answer it. Whatever your gift is, bring it. Whatever your offering is, offer it. Don’t ever imagine it insignificant. It isn’t. That fire in your belly is the torch that leads us home. ❤️

With gratitude for every breath, Jeff Brown