“Thank you, I Love You” An Exercise in Self-Love
We all have been wounded in the course of our lives: painful childhood experiences, challenging parents, an unkind environment. Sometimes our inner voice can be our harshest critic, carrying the imprint of our prior experiences. It is no easy thing to shift, but it can transform over time, particularly if we are determined in our efforts to consolidate a new way of relating to ourselves. Such tender healing can happen when we change the voice of our inner self—from a critical tone to a tenor of kindness, gentleness, and love. This exercise will help you hold hands with your self again. I invite you to do it often, even if it feels uncomfortable, until it feels right.
You can do this exercise lying down, or looking at yourself in the mirror. You can be clothed or naked. You can also do it in the shower or bathtub.
This exercise invites you to thoroughly touch your body, all of it. Touch yourself with as much presence as you can. Be slow and gentle with the process—don’t rush. Be fully here for each part of this exercise, intimately feel your own contact, really hear and feel your words.
If you are not comfortable doing this in reality, try doing it as a meditation, getting into a relaxed state and imagining yourself going through the same steps. Or, if you don’t feel prepared to imagine yourself expressing this love to yourself just yet, imagine it being expressed to you by someone you care about, or by a presence or guide.
And remember that you can do this exercise as often as you want. Each time will be different. Be aware of what comes up in the experience. Be aware of any voices that attempt to undermine the message. Be aware of them, and do your best to continue.
Begin by using your right hand to touch your left hand. Touch it as lovingly as you can, with gentle strokes. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.” Now use your left hand to touch your right hand in the same way. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.”
Now use one or both hands to touch your head. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.” And touch your nose. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.” Your eyes. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.” Your ears. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.” Your face. Take time with your face, caressing it with great care, letting it know that its authenticity is valued. As you touch, imagine any masks melting away—revealing your vulnerable true face, beneath. Say out loud “Thank you, I love you.”
Now move your left hand over your right arm and shoulder. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.” Now move your right hand over your left arm and shoulder. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.”
Now put both hands on your neck and your chest, caressing them with kindness. Place your hands over your lungs. Rest them there for a moment, feeling the breath of life rising and falling. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.” Now put one or both hands over your heart. Feel the beat of life. Let yourself feel it speaking to you, let it remind you that you are here for a reason. Say out loud “Thank you, I love you.” The heart loves to feel gratitude.
Now run one or both hands over your stomach and your organs. Again, take your time. Self-love has no time constraints. Feel into the magnificence of your human body—all the functions that happen outside of your conscious awareness, all the millions of ways the body regenerates and enlivens you, all the millions of ways it echoes your value. Really let yourself feel its love for you. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.” Say it as many times as you need before you can really feel it.
Now move one or both hands to your genitals. Experience the wonder of creation that lies there. The sacred pleasure centers. As you touch, let yourself open past any sense of shame—into pure wonder. Touch yourself with kindness, gratitude and compassion. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.”
Now move one or both hands down your legs. Caress your legs—they work so hard and so seldom get affection. Give them affection. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.”
Now move to your feet. Touch your toes. Rub your hands over the bottom of your feet. Tickle them. Stroke the tops of your feet. Your ankles. Your shins. Massage the whole area. As you do, say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.”
Now touch your buttocks, with affection. It’s not easy to be sat on for hours per day. :) Give them some lovin’. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.”
Reach up for your kidneys. Rub your hands over them. They are such hard workers. Let them feel your gratitude. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.”
Now touch some part of your back. Massage and stroke it with gratitude and affection. Say out loud, “Thank you, I love you.”
Now rest your hands for a moment. Either look in a mirror, or imagine yourself in your mind’s eye. Look at yourself before you: all of you, the you that God(dess) created, the you that came into being, the you that is breathed by the universe, the you that is still here, the you that has overcome, the you that has found the faith to go on, the authentic you that lives below the world’s disguises…
And say aloud, “Thank you, I love you. Thank you, I love you. Thank you, I love you, Thank you...