I often hear people say that anger is not the real emotion. That below it is always grief, or sadness or some other feeling. This is sometimes true, but it’s been my experience that it is not always true. Often our primary emotion is anger, and it signals that we have been violated in ways that matter. It’s as real as real gets.
Imagine yourself as a perfect circle. You are intact. Now, imagine yourself being violated by someone, or by something that happens to you. You become angry. Now you have a choice. You can express it, if possible, thereby preserving the integrity of your being. Your circle is still intact.
Or, you can bury it, and watch as it undermines the integrity of your being. If there are too many dents in your beingness, it becomes very difficult to function healthily in your life. You end up hobbling through life as a dented circle. The only way to restore your integrity, is to push that dent back out. Not violently, unless self-defence is necessary, but assertively, expressively, with vigor. In other words, you own that you are angry, and you take action to release and express your rightful rage.
Anger is a sacred force when it is honored authentically, without needless destruction. It is a legitimate emotion that signals that you have been violated. Don’t carry it, bury it, or ferry it from place to place. Express it.
Here is an exercise from my book of treasures, Grounded Spirituality, that can support your efforts to release any held anger or other emotions that are waiting at the gate to be liberated:
THE EXCAVATION MEDITATION
Sit on a chair, on the floor, or on a cushion, in whatever position feels most comfortable. While sitting, do not close your eyes, or focus your gaze directly ahead or above you. Instead, keep your eyes opened and focused downward, looking directly and with great curiosity at your body temple. Gaze at your body as you would a loved one.
Begin to make contact with your breath, inviting it into awareness, feeling it move through you.
First, start with gentle breathing, as if you are gradually warming up. Then, invite your breath to move strongly and pointedly throughout your body, infusing your body with life-force, pushing into and beyond tightly held regions. If you feel resistance, do not hesitate or recoil. Breathe even stronger. If you feel emotions, do not merely watch them as they float past. Instead, immerse yourself in them. Deepen into feeling, inviting all held emotions and memories to be fully felt. Use the breath as an excavation tool. With your breath, purposefully dig deep. Your aim is to bring repressed material to the surface, where it can be released and re-integrated.
Allow this meditation to become a kind of visceral, physical landscape of feeling and sensation.
If there are tears, feel into and move them, to the extent that you can.
If there is anger, feel into and move it, to the extent that you can.
If there are words or sounds, express them fully.
If you find yourself turning toward your habitual meditation style that includes a focus on the sensations of the body—return to the breath and intensify it.
If you find yourself getting distracted by thoughts—return to the breath and intensify it.
If you find yourself wanting this exercise to end—return to the breath and intensify it.
Whatever arises, return to the breath and intensify it.
Your breath is your excavation tool and your guide.
Now you are not just watching the body as it contracts and expands—you are fully experiencing and inhabiting the body, feelings, emotions, sounds, sensations, textures, roars, all and everything.
Stay with this process until you have abandoned the Watcher and become a full-bodied total Experiencer. Feeling, moving, expressing, and releasing as fully as you can.
THE ENREALMENT METHOD HEALING & TRANSFORMATION COURSE
On March 27th, I began teaching my first Enrealment Method Course to paid members of this newsletter. People have been writing me to ask if they can join in late. Yes, you can! The link to the first audio and the workbook are included in last week’s newsletter—visible to anyone on the paid list—and I am including the prior links in each subsequent newsletter as well. No problem getting caught up. The course includes one audio per week, and an 89-page workbook filled with optional exercises and prompts…