Just looking for trouble

Reflections of the Moment

Forgiveness is no more commendable than non-forgiveness. What is commendable is being true to how you feel.

It’s important to clarify your archetypal path(s) in this lifetime. Not only because there is tremendous gratification in knowing why you are here, but because archetypal misidentification can lead to all manner of confusion. As an example, throughout my political challenge I felt deeply frustrated about the fact that nobody stood up and protected me. Nobody offered me a place to sleep if it all fell apart. Nobody went out of their way to stand down the aggressors. Most everybody close to me turned the other cheek.

My frustration with being unprotected extended beyond individuals I knew well. I also felt frustrated with my fellow Jews, who not only didn’t stand beside me in my hour (years) of need, but sometimes turned against me. I would have stood beside of all of them. I’m no rookie at understanding that Jews can be very hard on each other, but I found the gap between their persistent focus on their victimhood, and their persistent neglect of mine, confounding. Of course, if we are talking about events like October 7^th and its direct aftermath, there is no comparison, but I’m not. I’m talking about western Jews with western problems who couldn’t find it within them to stand beside me.

There is no question that some part of their detachment was connected to our longstanding fear of being visible. And the assumption that if one of us stands against prominent political power, there is a chance that all of us will suffer. This, I understand, although I also believe that we will never be taken seriously—within ourselves or the world at large—if we don’t believe we have a right to whistle-blow. Stepping back from the whistle-blower is a self-perpetuating cycle that keeps us peripheral.

But then I remembered that as valid as these feelings were, it was not about me. It was about them. It was not to be taken personally. Each of us comes into this lifetime with archetypes in tow. My primary archetypes (recurrent ways of being that reflect one’s characterological directionality) in this lifetime do not revolve around being protected by humanity. They revolve around my doing my little bit to protect humanity. They don’t revolve around others fighting for me. They revolve around my warrior archetype fighting for them. If I’m sitting around waiting for someone to fight for me (or offer me a place to sleep during difficult times), then I’m off archetype.

If it interests you, check out Caroline Myss’s non-exhaustive list of archetypes here. See if any of these archetypes resonate with where you have been, where you are now, where you are called to go next. It’s been my experience that not every archetype is with us for a lifetime. Some get fulfilled, integrated into who we are, and then we move onto the next way of being in the same lifetime. Others are part of us throughout the entire lifetime, fundamental and over-arching ways of being that are always present and pressing. The more deeply you attune to your unique ‘sacred contract’, the better you become at making those distinctions.

Bottom line: Archetypes Lives Matter. Whenever you are feeling frustrated with something in your life, check out where you are at on your archetypal journey. Ask this question: Are you frustrated because embodying a specific archetype (and its related shadow) is a great challenge (grist for the soul mill), or because you are off-archetype altogether?

Chaotic Magnificence

Soul-actualization is not remotely tidy. Even if the psyche has the clearest and cleanest trajectory, the soul’s trajectory is often entirely unpredictable. Just when you think you can lie down on a plateau and savor the fruits of your labor, the soul experiences a truth-ache of epic proportions. It just knows that you aren’t done yet, and begins to kick up trouble. Abraham Maslow called this “grumble theory” with respect to the psyche. It represents the idea that you reach a certain level of self-actualization, before your frustrations push you to the next level. I believe that the soul grumbles, too. I call these “sacred grumbles”. And not only grumbles. I believe it works with its personal team (relational collaborators, director/inner daimon) to actually co-create the conditions necessary to manifest the next steps in your transformation.

I have an old friend who was just kicked out of her life. A brilliant healer, she was instrumental in my own transformation decades ago. And she had found a way to manifest the ideal property and healing space over the last decade. Precisely what she had longed for. It went swimmingly well, until her partner and her fell apart. As a result, she had to find a new space to live in and work from. A real shock for someone who was right where her psyche wanted to be for many years. And yet, having known her for so long, the chaos of re-birth makes perfect sense to me. Like many of us, there was a split between her satisfied psyche and her as yet to be actualized soul. She had found a lovely plateau to rest on, but her soul’s actualizing tendency wasn’t done with her yet. Her situation reminds me of this poem by Hafiz:

Just Looking for Trouble by Hafiz

I once had a student

Who would sit alone in his house at night

Shivering with worries

And fears,

And, come morning,

He would often look as though

He had been raped

By a ghost.

Then one day my pity

Crafted for him a knife

From my own divine sword.

Since then,

I have become very proud

Of this student.

For now, come night,

Not only has he lost all his fear,

Now he goes out

Just looking for

Trouble.

Of course, the soul is the student, eager to move one learning closer to wholeness. So, next time something in your world falls apart, remain open to the possibility that you have been called to the next stage of your encoded expansion. Uncomfortable, sure, but also essential. In a world that conditions us to be something that can be managed, the soul pushes us into unmanageable territory because it knows that there is so much more to this brilliant life than meets the eye. Creation doesn’t concern itself with tidiness. It’s concerned with turning things upside down until you become the divine trouble-maker that our world needs.

Treasure yourself, Jeff Brown