The conflict in Gaza is yet another perfect example of how the pace of social media algorhythms is incongruent with the depth of presence required to arrive at an informed understanding of what is happening in our world. This is particularly true for long-term conflicts, most of which require an abundance of space and time before we can come to a meaningful and well-researched understanding of their context. Yet technology is organizing itself in such a way that we cannot help but arrive at an opinion far too quickly, unconsciously affixing our confirmation bias to one polarity or another. Not only does this prevent us from arriving at a complete understanding, but it ensures that this—and many other conflicts—do not get resolved. Because resolution is not possible when there are only two rapid-fire perspectives available to us. We need to see the whole picture before it can change.
As I step back from the narratives, and immerse myself in the question of how I really feel about what is happening in Gaza (to be shared in the coming weeks), the one thing that comes shining through is the presence of the all-consuming abandonment wound. In my view, this wound is the nexus wound for many—if not all—of our primary wounds and triggers. Whether we were neglected or abused as individuals, or as an identifiable group, we carry forward the feeling that we were abandoned by humanity. With respect to Gaza, quite apart from the historical roots of the struggle, it is difficult to ignore the fact that both sides feel abandoned by each other and by a significant portion of the world’s population. If I lean towards favoring the Palestinian position, the Israeli’s are (at least somewhat) abandoned. And if I lean towards the Israeli position, the Palestinian’s are (at least somewhat) abandoned. That’s not to say that the more objective questions of right and wrong don’t matter, but below all of that I can’t help but think that the ultimate answer for this and most others conflicts is to find a way to leave neither side feeling abandoned. If individuals and groups feel as though their voice is heard and their rights are honored, they are much less likely to feel abandoned and much more likely to find a solution. If this is true, then we have to find a way to get every voice to the table, and to co-create a solution that is truly inclusive. That is, one where everyone feels like their rights and needs are taken into account and where they are able to move through the world with dignity. With this in mind, I am working on a new abandonment wound healing course that is focused on our experiences of collective abandonment. That is, where someone is part of a group that has been abandoned by the world-at-large. How does that alienation inform one’s sense of self and undermine their personal (and group) actualization? How can it be healed so that it no longer gets in the way? And… is there an offering to the world waiting for us at the end of the healing journey?
While writing my book, Grounded Spirituality, I had the audacity to ask one of my favorite writers ever, Rob Brezsny , for a book endorsement. Long before I became an author, I would read Rob’s brilliant horoscopes in Toronto’s Now Magazine, and feel reminded of my own calling to write. I wasn’t quite ready yet, but I knew that there would come a time—after living, learning, and suffering 😊 enough—when I would feel ready to brave it. Much to my surprise, Rob sent back the following endorsement of my work. I’m not too proud to admit that I have turned to it in those moments when my calling to write has lost its way, as a reminder of the value of my offering. May we all find a way to remind each other of the miracle of our offerings when we need it the most. Perhaps this is what we are here to do for those we care about—to hold a reflection of their divinity up before them until they are ready to embrace it as their own. Thank you Rob for reminding me.
THE CLEARING METHOD
Not long ago, I interviewed therapist Shauna Quigley about her brilliant creation—The Clearing Method. I became aware of her work some years ago, and am blown away by its breadth and depth. To this point, most therapeutic and spiritual approaches are meaningfully distinct from each other. What I love about Shauna’s work is that she blends them. She integrates the witness-observer consciousness normally reserved for spiritual methodologies with the somatic healing approaches often reserved for body-centered psychologies. In my book, Soulshaping, I referred to this blend as a ‘Weastern Consciousness’ because it brings together the expansive watcher consciousness intrinsic to many eastern spiritualities, and the more localized healing approaches fundamental to western psychology. In other words, that place where the the oceans of essence meet our individual droplet of meaning. Shauna is currently writing a brilliant book about The Clearing Method, and her model is continuing to develop. I encourage you to follow her work closely, as I believe that she is offering something that will meaningfully benefit humanity and pave the way for the more integrated models we need. You can find her here…
And check out the dialogue that we had on my Enrealment Hour Podcast last May. This is really good stuff for anyone who wants to take their personal healing and their work with clients to the next level…
In the New Year, my intention is to take the Enrealment Newsletter to the streets as an independent media outlet. Rather than sitting back and watching life happen (and then writing about it!), I want to also engage it on a grass roots level. I want to get in the mix as a sacred activist, and talk to people who are bravely and actively engaged in the causes of the day. There is no time left to be a step back from reality. Don’t you agree? With interviews, soliloquies, and bold forays into scary places (I’m not scared… maybe :), I will do all that I can to illuminate the issues before us. If you are someone who feels inspired to support my efforts—perhaps even to be an organizational touchstone in the area you live—feel free to message me at support@jeffbrown.co. I can’t do this alone and I wouldn’t want to…
WE ARE ALL LUMINOUS STARS AT HEART
At the heart of my work is the belief that each and every one of us is a brilliant and luminous star-in-process. I know we hear that kind of talk often, and it can easily get swept under the rug like any other generalized statement, but I truly mean it. I can’t help but believe that each of us carries a unique and remarkable multitude of callings, gifts, and offerings, that we are here to bring into form. I have no issue with talented celebrities, but I do feel concern for all the people who feel too disempowered to humanifest their own talents in this lifetime because they have been conditioned to live vicariously through others. It’s one thing to feel inspired by other’s achievements—it’s quite another to live through them, while abandoning your own talents. If inclusivity means anything, it must mean that every calling, gift, and offering finds it home in this lifetime. Not as a theoretical construct that gets delayed for yet another decade, but as a lived (and living) experience that actively informs your path. The powers-that-be would like nothing more than to distract us from our purpose—and celebrity culture is one of the ways that they do that—but a true equality requires that we recognize our callings, gifts and offerings, and determinedly bring them into being. Not simply because they gratify us, but also because the world needs them more than ever. If we continue to rely on the talents of a small number of celebrities to lead us, we will not save this species from its own trappings. But if we can all get our purpose on, we will. This week, grant yourself permission to bring any one of your callings, gifts, or offerings out into the open. Take it out, look at it closely, and ask it what it needs to bring it into form. And then, prioritize it and bring it. We need what you have to offer desperately.
To your luminosity, Jeff
Hi Jeff, I am Israeli and this is so spot on. I have been involved in peacemaking for many years. The thing is that right now, the people on each side feel abandoned even if you dare to show empathy for the other side, so it’s tricky. I realize that I have also become more sensitive to various comments , and your email helped me to see this. I will definitely look at my own abandonment wound now. Thank you.
I too know it in the depths of my soul that we each have something to give. And as you mentioned, that the world needs that more than ever. We are each a cell in this living organism that is Life - it only makes sense that our individual thriving would make a healthier whole. Thank you for shining Jeff!